ugh

Okay let me just bitch for a moment. I’m tired, hungry, and need to pee every hour on the hour. So not cool My bladder isn’t very big to begin with, but it’s getting pretty annoying. Of course I need to drink enough water so that doesn’t help at all. It’ll get better I am sure…

Yesterday, they took like 6 vials of blood out of me. This is for a full work-up some of it not really pregnancy related, but things they wanted to look at regarding some problems I’ve been having. I thought I was going to faint right there. I have a terrible time getting blood drawn and quick to faint, but everything went fine. We also took a peek at a few things on your baby maybe need list. Shit is expensive lemme tell you. My family though is willing to help out a bit which is nice. Everyone is excited about having a pair of twins in the family. I think my mother was more giddy than me.

Aside from all that I’m doing all right and so are babies. I feel them moving around in there every once in awhile. I think I felt Baby B yesterday. Not sure though it’s so hard to tell, but Baby A is on my left side down in my pelvis it’s very doubtful he will move any further up given his placenta placement. Baby B is further up and on my right side with a her/his placenta out in front so it’s why I haven’t felt much from her/him. Baby A moves a whole lot more. Either way, it was really exciting because it was a good kick/roll/whatever. My little boo still isn’t quite convinced there is babies in there. The idea of two siblings isn’t that exciting to him I suppose lol.

Though in 2 weeks we’ll know what Baby B is boy/girl. I’m really not that excited. I’m more anxious than anything. I feel like a terrible mom, but I’m scared/nervous about them both being boys. I have one son and we know that one of the twins is a boy for sure, but the mere thought of a third boy scares the crap outta me. I guess it’s because this is likely our last children I’ve always wanted a little girl. I have tons of clothes that I bought for my daughter that will never get used. I don’t even have the heart to give them away. I really want a girl and I’m nervous that I won’t be as attached to these babies if they both end up being boys. It does not help that I know some of my family is disappointed that one is a boy. We don’t have many girls in our family so I know some people in the family were counting on two girls. I know my husband’s mother is also really wanting a granddaughter. She only had one kiddo my husband and she had always longed for a girl.

Of course I know I love these babies because I am worried every single night that we’ll go to my appointment be told “Sorry, your babies passed” or “Sorry, but one of them passed”. I feel like I am in a sea of emotions and I don’t feel like I am having twins. Sure my belly looks hugeo and we’ve seen them on the ultrasounds, but I still don’t feel like it’s “real”. I’m hoping the further I get the more I’ll stop fearing the worst. Sorry, this was kind of emo. I just can’t wait until pregnancy is over and I can hold my babies.

Introduction

Okay, so I’ve added a few of my posts from another journal. I decided I wanted another place to “blog” mostly a place where I won’t feel judged for my feelings or my actions. I’ll do a quick run down of who “I” am. My name is Samantha. I’m married and have been for a year. Our relationship has had good times and bad pretty much the same for all marriages. I have a 3 year old son from another relationship. He’s quite adoreable. I was pregnant last year in 2008, but my daughter suffered a placental abruption and passed away 23 weeks into my pregnancy. It’s been quite hard to recover from to say the least. I waited 4 months before going off my birth control and starting in October we tried again for another baby. January 2nd, 2009 was the day we found out we were expecting! We were very thrilled…though I was a little sad as my daughter had been due in September and I was once again due in September. February 11th, 2009 we found out we were expecting twins! Whoa big shock, but very welcomed. I’m currently 14w5d pregnant. So that about catches you up!

I’ll be posting a bit more often I just wanted to introduce myself. Btw, yes I can’t sleep

belly picture – 14 weeks

14 weeks with twins. My camera broke recently so it’ll be a few weeks before I can update these pictures again.

Happy birthday

to me! I’m 22 today.

belly picture – 13 weeks

13 weeks with twins

Update

Things are going well. We were able to get one of the babes heartbeats yesterday. The other was too far back to really get a lock on. My uterus is measuring great for twins. Most of my morning sickness is gone. I’m still really tired and my boobs HURT so much. Hubs says they are bigger than before, but I haven’t really noticed a difference. I took my first belly shot! I’m 12w1d today.

fyi that’s my son in the picture.

U/S appointment

The doctor wanted to be sure my due date was correct since it didn’t match my LMP. We were trying I had a pretty good idea when I ovulated and concieved.

FYI I was 100% right on due date. Matched exactly what I told that doctor. We found out that they have their own placenta and sac which is good less risky. They are both leaning more towards one side almost looks like they are fighting for the same spot lol. Baby 1 had a HB of 166 and Baby 2 had a heartbeat of 176. Since baby 2 was far back we couldn’t hear the heartbeat, but we got to hear baby 1’s heartbeat. So far everything looks good and normal!

I decided not to post the u/s pictures here. Maybe later.

O.M.G

This is the only picture we got since it was a quick u/s and it confirmed we are expecting twins! I’ll be getting a more detailed ultrasound next week. I’m still utterly shocked.